Vice or Virtue
Am I less of an intimate companion because I don’t smoke or drink?
I find myself wondering about this every time. I will never know what it’s like to share a cigarette, whether with a friend or a lover, or clink glasses of red and empty mugs of gold. The jolt to my system when the smoke hits my nose stings my eyes, and I won’t even begin to explain the throbbing in my temples when the alcohol seeps into my bloodstream.
Too many times have I lost you to cigarettes and alcohol. Too many times have I laid or sat there, alone, feeling like I’ve done something wrong. So many times that I have—and still—wondered, would things have been different? Would I be where I am now if I had inhaled and consumed the things that would hurt me, as I am doing so now?