stripped bare

OMG. This is ROF Funny. Guess my favourite.

with 2 comments

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v . to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj . impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Written by smudgi3

June 11, 2010, Friday at 16:12

Posted in Braincells

2 Responses

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  1. esplanade has my vote! heh

    yuch

    June 11, 2010, Friday at 22:40

    • “Circumvent” had me laughing the loudest, followed by “negligent”, and “pokemon”. Hilarious, these people.

      smudgi3

      June 13, 2010, Sunday at 23:37


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