Read Book 7 in less than an hour.
Spoilers, lolcat-speak, grammer errors, and film-geek references, but he totally, fucking nailed it. Read it if you don’t intend to get the book. In fact, read it especially after you’ve finished the book.
A few days pass, and the Weasleys busy themselves in preparation for Bill and Fleur’s wedding. Ron, Harry and Hermione barely have time to discuss their plans for Horcrux hunting, but finally Harry gets them alone.
Harry: I’ve been thinking and–
Ron: You think it’s too dangerous.
Hermione: And we shouldn’t come along.
Harry: How did you know that?
Hermione: Harry, you’re a good guy, but as characters go you’re kinda predictable. And anyways, we are going.
Ron: Yeah, we’ve made preparations and everything. I’ve bewitched the ghoul who lives in the attic to look like me with spattergroit, so if anyone wonders why I’m not at school my parents will have something to say.
Hermione: And I used a memory charm on my parents.
Hermione: I altered their memories so they think they’re a retired couple with no children who are moving to Australia to live.
Ron: Wow, Hermione, that is fucking hardcore.
Hermione: Just call me John Holmes, bitch.