stripped bare

Happiness is mine, and not something anyone can give me.

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I plugged the earphones of my Nano deep in, and turned the volume up to block out the distractions. Then I set out to work. It’s been a while since I sat down at this table properly to do things other than chat and blog and surf. It took a while to get used to, but as my room started to dissolve as the music filled my mind, some kind of energy raced through my hands as they danced lightly on the keyboard.

I’m glad that I’m doing something worthy, but my motivations behind this sudden surge of concentration are haunting me for some reason. Everytime a ghost of the past flit past my eyes, I feel a tug at the back of my mind. A disturbance, a refraction of my thoughts.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup. They slither while they pass they slip away across the universe. Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind. Possessing and caressing me.

This past year marked a major change in my life. This change I have feared for a long while, and it was torture dealing with the inertia that sets in when it all became reality. But now, I embrace my new experiences because they bring lessons I would never have gone through had I remained stagnant. I am being educated, everyday, with each tear that I lose to the atmosphere.

Be happy for me, because I am learning to find my own happiness.


Written by smudgi3

August 3, 2007, Friday at 23:42

Posted in Dear Diary, Insight

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