But I hear you in the middle of the night. You come to me and won’t let me sleep. I put out my hand to touch the side of the bed that you have known. The sheets are cold. I will grow old in them. I have been alone before, but this is worse because now I have you to remember and nothing like you to look forward to. Even when I had you I cried for you, just looking at you. Do you remember? In one of those stolen moments I looked at you on the bed in a country hotel and was overcome with the strength of my feelings for you. You didn’t say anything, you just put your hand to my cheek.