stripped bare

Behind the curtains

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I simply needed to cry.

I’ve been walking on eggshells lately, and it’s a matter of time before I fell to pieces. I know I’ve been too hard on myself, but that’s just the way I am. I am critical of others and even more so on myself. Once I turned on the tap, the tears fell like parallel rivers. I cried for everything – my failures, my dreams, my hatred, the 9/11 victims, the tsunami victims… I curled up on my bed, makeup smeared, the space between my arms empty, my thoughts unrelated but stringed together, my body convulsing. After the tears ran out, I continued with my daily routine, washing up, dragging my bedroom slippered feet to the kitchen to scavenge for comfort food, turned on the air conditioning and air purifier in my bedroom, hid under the duvet with a sleep-inducing book, and let the drone of the air purifier lull me into oblivion.

Then finally, a good night’s sleep.

Written by smudgi3

May 7, 2006, Sunday at 15:55

Posted in Dear Diary, Insight

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