stripped bare

I don’t wanna go home tonight.

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At 6am, I was woken up by the ringing of the telephone. It was strange that the ringing woke me up, because my door was closed, and closing the door meant it kept all the noise out. I let the ringing die down, but subconsciously, I was waiting for the caller to try again. The caller did, and I stumbled out of bed to the living room to answer the phone. It was exactly who I expected it to be.

My mum had called from Narita to tell my dad that she had arrived safely, but my dad wasn’t around to answer it. She gave me a few instructions to convey to my dad that I scribbled onto a piece of paper lying around. Hearing the background voices at the other end of the line, I can only frown and wish I didn’t pick up the phone. I climbed back to bed, a few beads of perspiration at the back of my neck. Even with the fan on, my bed was too warm, the air in my room hostile, my eyes too wide with envy to close again.

Yes, I am crazy. But I wanna be there.

Tonight, my dad leaves to meet my mum and my brother there. I will go to bed alone, and wake up tomorrow, only wrapped by my memories. I should be delighted at the freedom bestowed on me this entire week. But it should have been anywhere else.

Anywhere but there. There, where my heart and soul resides. Here, just a hollowed shell that contains nothing but echos of the days gone.


Written by smudgi3

March 28, 2006, Tuesday at 17:41

Posted in Dear Diary, Insight

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