stripped bare

Maybe because I haven’t really been working hard in the first place.

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Do you know what day it is today?

It’s the 10th of June.

It may not be much of a significance to you, but to me, it’s like hearing that my young and handsome but unfortunate billionaire husband’s just died and I get 75% of his property and none of his children.

From this day onwards, doing absolutely nothing except hard-core partying, lots of tv-watching, intensive dieting and major catching up with friends for the next 2 months. That’s my selfish little aim. 2 months because that’s when I get my results. And no more mentioning of the word “exams” ’til 2 months from now. That word is banned from this blog.

After the paper today, I ran immediately to the loo (as usual, room’s always so cold!) and I found myself smiling to the back of the cubicle door while peeing. Outside, I could hear loud sounds of cheers and whooping, it’s the last paper for them too. Many times, I’ve thought of what I would do and how I would behave on this day. Wide smile the entire day? Hugging every person I meet? Kissing the next cutie I see on the road?

There was no great sense of relief. There was no tears of joy for all these years of imprisonment. There was no wild beating of my heart There was no feeling of high. Nothing I had anticipated. I forced myself to focus, am I just too shocked to accept the reality? I just feel… indifferent.

Just… This.

Maybe I don’t really wanna give up this comfortable student life-style.
Maybe it just hasn’t set in yet.
Maybe I feel that i might have to repeat a year.


Written by smudgi3

June 10, 2005, Friday at 23:25

Posted in Dear Diary

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