I know what you did last summer.
Recently, I had a ‘conversation’ with a friend’s male friend over Yahoo messenger. It was just a one-off thing, some discussion on stereotyping and bruised egos of insecured men. So reluctantly, we had exchanged Yahoo IDs. After the discussion ended, we proceeded on to some small talk, since it’s pretty rude to end an amicable conversation with a stranger abruptly.
Out of nowhere, he made a comment on some item I am selling off on Yahoo Auctions. I asked him calmly if he were interested in that item (it was a ladies tee) and he said it wouldn’t fit him. I then told him that he needn’t have to look through the rest of the items since none of them would fit him anyway. And then. He said he had just ‘stumbled’ upon my Auction pages. Did he think I was born with half a brain yesterday?
You know how suspicious I am. Here’s what I suspect : What?! He Google-d me?! I thought only insecured losers Googled people? Oh wait. He IS an insecured loser, or he wouldn’t have initiated that little confrontation. Maybe he felt intimidated by my intellect (*clears throat) and had to Google me to find out more about me, so that he could better equip himself against me.
Maybe he would find out about my educational background next. Maybe he already did. Maybe he found this blog too? Don’t mind me if I go all big headed and say, “I think I’ve found my own stalker/admirer.” So the next step I should do, is block him and delete him from my messenger, right, Julia Roberts? After all, I don’t see the need to ever speak with him again. I hate it when people act intelligent. You know the kind. They use big words and stretch their vocabulary when simple words would suffice. I get a kick out of watching them beat about the bush until they get lost in their own sentence, and then try to get out of it. It’s so taxing having a conversation with such people, especially when I try to match their pace and speak like an anal bitch. Why are such people soooo sensitive about what people think? Seriously, have you ever met anyone who got so riled up by a typical stereotypical phrase such as “All men are the same.” I say, Live a little, man. You’re soooooo missing the point.
Now whenever I am reminded of this Guy, my mind conjures up images of him sitting maniacally behind his pc monitor, Googling everyone he meets. And then his eyes and nostrils will flare up with excitement as pages and pages of their info fill up his screen. Some sort of Mojo Jojo, but fatter and not so likeable.
Next time you feel intimidated by someone, try not to frighten him/her back by proudly(and not so subtly) suggesting you’ve Googled him/her. It just emphasizes how immature and insecured you already are. You’ll simply leave behind a bad aftertaste and a probable restraining order. And do you know you could be charged for textual harrassment?