Killing with Kindness
You know that SAM machine thing you use to pay bills and buy postage?
Yeah. The atmosphere around it is often filled with hostility and stupidity. More than 5 times, I’ve encountered people who don’t know how to use the machine, and are too proud/shy/lazy/stupid to ask for help. If I’m next in the queue, I’ll definitely step up to offer my assistance. I mean, I’m not being kind, you’re just holding up the queue and wasting my time, hello? Sometimes I get yelps of thanks, sometimes I get glared at (yeah, like I would wanna peep at your pin number, you fuckhead), sometimes I get a non-response (c’mon admit it, if I didn’t press that button for you, you wouldn’t know how to proceed). Most of the time, I get sheepishly whispered Thanks, and it is with this response that I’ll gladly continue to help those losers who don’t learn how to use the machine before deciding to use it to pay their summons+electricitybills+phonebills+cablebills+postage during the peak hours. I feel good making them look stupid.
Recently, I was 10 minutes early for my manicure appointment so I decided to stop by the post office to pay my phone bill. There were 2 machines and a line of about 3 persons down. There was a woman hovering around the queue but she wasn’t actually standing in it so I assumed that she was waiting for someone. I stepped in line only to find her elbowing her way in front of me. So I said loudly in case anyone would think I was jumping the queue “Oh you’re in the queue? You were standing so far away I didn’t know. Sorry.” I tried not to sound bitchy but when faced with a bitch you have to speak their language. She turned around and gave me a “I’m-rich-and-you’re-not-so-I-can-stand-anywhere-I-want-to-you-slut” smile. I let her go with that, seeing that she’s about 6 inches shorter than me, and giving me that smile made her look a bit pathetic.
On one machine this guy was weighing some packages and he was taking up quite some time. When I said some I mean, like, 20. He weighed them, and then re-weighed them, this time writing down the cost of the postage on the package, and then weighing it again to confirm. Watching him made the time move really fast cuz it was shortie’s turn now. What do you know? She’s short AND dumb. I let her go to and fro on the machine screen for about 5 minutes before I went up to her and said “All you have to do is press this little button and you’re good to go” and then gave her a condescending (only because she’s shorter) smile that said “I won, you bitch”.
After paying her bills, she mouthed a Thank You to me sheepishly. Maybe she was touched by my kindness muahahahaha.