stripped bare

Be careful of Wholivesnearyou, they might want to Multiply with you after meeting you in Friendster.

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What’s the worst kind of pickup line you’ve ever seen on the net? With the advent of Friendster-type online networks, the internet highway is now cache-full of makeover photos, perverts, and their lame pile of loser pickup lines.

Some people might think that it’s really childish to partake in such online dating sites, but hey, everyone’s doing it. You’ll be uncool not to. No one’s asking you to actually date the people you meet. Though people deny it, I think such sites are successful because there’s a subconscious thrill of logging on and seeing that you’ve have just found or made 20 friends overnight. It’s like a popularity contest really. And free ego boosting.

As might be for all online dating sites, perverts (I use this term freely) lurk. I’ve received countless messages in Friendster, requesting to be added on my list. Upon viewing their profiles, you’ll find that they usually don’t have a photo of themselves in it, and their list would be filled with girls. Now these are the really obvious ones. Their pickup lines would go like this :

“Hi. Want make fren?”

“Hello. Add me to your list leh. Hee hee.”

“Care to meet friendly guy?”

The next kind of perverts are more subtle, but they reveal their true colours pretty soon. The first message they send you sound innocent enough :

“Hi. Saw your profile and thought it was interesting. Would like to chat more.”

And when you reply favourably, their next message would be :

“I hardly check my Friendster. Maybe you could add me in your msn, yahoo and aol so we can chat 24 hours a day.”

I used to reply that my Messengers were only for my close friends and that I would prefer to chat via messages first. And then they would stop messaging altogether. I resent that, so now I make the first move by not replying at all. Saves me the trouble.

And then there’s the stalker. Some just won’t take no for an answer, even if the rejection was thrown right between their eyes. This guy found me through the network at Multiply and requested to be added on my contact list. Admittedly, I didn’t like the way he looked so I ignored him. 3 weeks later, I received a message from him in Friendster. I added him too quickly, failing to read that in one of his testimonials, his friend said he was actively looking for a wife. He then sent me 3 more messages, reminding me to add him in Multiply.

1st message : “Thanks. Please add me in Multiply.”

2nd message : “Hello. Can you also add me in Multiply?”

3rd message : “Are you going to add me in Multiply?”

I have since blocked him and deleted him from my list.

The last type (this list is definitely not exhausive) are the Downright Shameless. One tried the wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing method :

“Hi there. I surfed into your profile and wondered if we could make fren. Please dun see me Ah Beng look, or see my friendster list all girls. I am a good person and I also have many guy frens who are not on friendster. Please reply.”

Needless to say, his list consists of cutie pie girls, sexy made-over girls, cannot-make-it-but-full-of-makeup girls and some random Bengs. Ratio of men to women, 10 : 1.

Another one really pissed me off on Wholivesnearyou.

“Hello. Are you sure that is your real pic? Heehee. Joking lah. Can make fren?”

C said it was a compliment when I told her I felt so insulted. The bloody cheek! To think he lives so near me. Would I be so insecured as to put some random female’s pic on my profile? I knew he meant I was pretty (Eh hem!), but still?! At least put it in a flattering way, like this other guy did :

“Hey there! Is that chick in the pic really you? She’s real pretty! Friends?”

Flattery and good spelling will get you everywhere.


Written by smudgi3

September 15, 2004, Wednesday at 14:00

Posted in Uncategorized

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