stripped bare

Forgive me, Father, for I do not regret failing my exams.

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No more anticipating and stalking the mailman. I’m getting my results today – in school.

I can’t describe what I’m feeling now. Excitement? Fear? Regret? Relief? I try to tell myself that I brought this all upon myself, that I should have studied more, should have made more effort blah blah… but I don’t know if I mean it. Come my finals, it would be the same thing again. I would hate having to go for class, hate revising, hate arguing with lecturers… I’m just so UNMOTIVATED. At the beginning of each term, I tell myself, OK this is it. Just work hard this time, and it’ll be over soon. But somewhere 2 weeks down the road, the balloon loses air and all the energy fizzles out. I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t like studying anyways. So I don’t like studying and I don’t like working. Unless of course, it’s something I enjoy. But that’s a one in a gazillion chance. I mean, which workplace would let me get paid for doing nothing?

Ok enough of that. My fate has already been decided on and it’s lying in the hands of some inefficient admin staff in my school. Why are admin staff always inefficient? Is it the bureaucracy of the whole thing or are they specifically chosen to be inefficient? Anyway, I came across a website that lets you do your confessions anonymously online. I mean of course, the things that are being confessed aren’t those “Father, please forgive me, for I had forgotten to brush my teeth today” types. It’s more along the lines of “I love my in-laws but I think they’re complete idiots” or “I masturbate 60 times an hour’, that sort of thing.

Well, it’s more fun reading than confessing, I mean, who actually gives a shite about your life, but hey, if you really have something to get off your chest… here it is .


Written by smudgi3

September 1, 2004, Wednesday at 10:55

Posted in Uncategorized

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