Me the (fastfood) Coupon Girl.
[written @ 1800hrs Thursday 5th Aug. Burger King, Plaza Singapura]
So here I am sitting alone, having left the house early to avoid conversation with my dad. Now I’m freaking 45 minutes early for my class, and the last thing I want is to be sitting in the classroom surrounded by people I don’t like and dwiddle my thumbs. Got myself a Banana Split thingy (Just $2.95 for a dessert and a drink – says coupon) that’s all cream and no nutrients. I’d rather be having a chicken whopper but I can’t! Having dinner with J later.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a McD’s burger. In case you don’t already know, Basement One in PS is fastfood heaven. Mos Burger, Long John Silver, Burger King, KFC, McD’s…. every student’s ideal canteen. I find it really uncanny that for 4 days in a row, I’ve seen school kids clutching transparent plastic bags with the yellow M on it, stealing furtive looks as they try to sneak a fry into their waiting mouths. Then you see them chewing really quickly, as if that oily sponge of a potato would lift its hidden legs and run off if they didn’t swallow it down first. Oh, they’re loving it alright. Pa da ba ba ba.
To me, Bk is called Bk for a reason. I’ve never tasted any fastfood burger better than theirs. My eyes light up everytime I spot a blue-capped, uniformed guy being rudely groped by ladies on their way to the MRT station. I don’t grope him, for God’s sake (I might just accidentally burst a few of his pimples) but I try to stride past as sexily as I can, and act nonchalant, hoping that the poor guy would be so glad to see a pretty face he’d thrust 5 coupon leaflets in my hands. Doesn’t work at all. I always end up being pushed off balance by another groper. Therefore, always grope if you want the leaflets.
I know it’s weird but I think KFC do serve excellent chicken nuggets. I’ve given up on their chicken parts – they’re getting smaller and smaller, which induces you to buy bigger sets, which then results in you eating more, which in turn makes you decide to boycott KFC for 6 months to lose all that fat. Wrong strategy, Colonel, try another. But I digress… what was my point? Oh yes. There’re about 15 people in the queue before me now, each clutching a coupon leaflet. Crikey, the fastfood devils’ got us planning our meals their way. Oh well, who’s complaining? I have like, 15 minutes left til class. Wonder if I should go next door to LJS and get me some big, fat, crispy fries…